LOVE Makes a Family
I don't know if we've made it clear, but we feel strongly about some things over here. Here's a short list in no particular order including, but not limited to:
-Love is love
-Black lives matter and black mamas matter
-Our medical system blows
-Our president is an imbecile
-Science is real
-Our voices make a difference
-Men should never be allowed to make decisions on women's bodies
-We believe survivors of sexual assault.
-ANY and EVERY birthing person deserves to be respected and empowered
-Families belong together
Let's just focus on the first point. June is Gay Pride month. We have a whole month dedicated to celebrating lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer,
intersex, asexual, and non-binary folks who have historically been, and still often are, oppressed. To quote Abraham Lincoln, it is altogether fitting and proper that we do this. The month of June was chosen for LGBT Pride Month to commemorate the Stonewall riots, which occurred at the end of June 1969. As a result, many pride events are held during this month to recognize the impact LGBT people have had in the world. Make no mistake. The first "pride" was a motherf*cking riot. These people rioted for their right to exist in the world. It has become the way that LGBT folks are claiming that right and rejecting the shame that's been cast on them for centuries.
And here's the thing. We've come a long way. It's a common misunderstanding (I hear it all the time) that being gay is just "trendy" right now. Let me wipe the vomit from my chin and explain this real quick. Being gay is not TRENDY. It's not "in". It's simply, finally, ALLOWED. We're just ALLOWED to exist now. Out of the shadows, out of the
closet, out in the world. So it appears to be on the rise because more and more people are speaking their truth out loud because for the most part, in America in 2019, you
don't have to DIE for it. (Save for horrific homophobic violence that still fully exists. See: Pulse nightclub shooting). The statistic is that roughly 4-10% of the population,
globally, is gay. ((Williams Institute UCLA Law LGBT Stats)) That cannot be new. Nothing has changed biologically in our species that would make it MORE common to have same-sex attraction now than it was 100 years ago. So it's not trendy, it's just a right that we hold, to be fully ourselves and now society is accepting it.
"The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice", MLK reminded us. We believe this is true. It's evidenced in history. But friends, it's not inevitable (see the
fourth point in our above list). We have to WORK toward that justice, it's not preordained to happen with or without us. Resting assured in this theory does not give us the
right to sit back and wait for things to get better.
And the work is actually much easier than you might think. The work happens in calling out your bigoted uncle at the dinner table on Thanksgiving. It happens when you
open your social circle to include people who live and look differently than you do. (Both helpful tips to challenge and heal racism as well). It happens when you ask
questions with the intent to LEARN instead of challenge. It happens when a friend or loved one comes out to you, when you get to choose how to respond to that.
(Life hack: "Thank you for trusting me with your truth and welcome to being fully yourself. I love you this way!" is the perfect thing to say.) It happens every time you DON'T
try to "figure out" a person or label them.
In our work, we know that love makes a family. Two moms, two dads, non-binary birthing people, donor eggs, donor sperm, surrogacy, embryo adoption....WHATEVS! We
respect you. This is a safe space. You deserve to be empowered and we recognize that you are powerful. You are worthy of love and belonging simply because you're on
And as an extra note, I'd like to encourage any haters who are still reading this to realize that LGBTQIA+ folks are rarely having surprise babies. These families are
intentional and they deserve intentional births where they're respected and supported by everyone surrounding them. Fear not. Their children will be deeply loved. And all
we know is that the world needs more of that, for everyone. Now, more than ever.
Ps...Team Doula will be marching in Rochester's pride parade this summer! July 20th! Come be loving and supportive! Here’s my little family doing that a few years back:
And if you'd like to put your money where your mouth is, here are some good options:
The Trevor Projrct
Lambda Legal Organization